My father died November 25-2009, 10 days of his life he laid in a hospital bed. 5 days in the hospital Balikpapan and 5 days in the hospital Manado. 24 november 2009 I went to Manado, I arrived at night, I could not believe when I saw his condition, and hide my tears when I saw him. He saw me, told me to go eat and sleep.
father what you think?
It is quite possible for me to do. 1 night with him. be on his side, reading the Bible and singing his favorite song . saw he had trouble breathing, remain to fight the pain. it very sick for me. my dad never let me down, he was a great father, husband, & grandfather.
My mother is a strong woman, caring for and keeping the father and barely have time to sleep every day.
In the days and weeks after my father's death, many people tell me "it will become easier." Now, two years later, I can say that yes, in some ways it is. The death of my father is no longer one of the first things I remind myself when I wake up, nor is it the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, it no longer consumes me.
But, although it has been 730 days, I still miss her. I still have days and weeks when it's just as painful as two years ago, and I still have moments that make my head spin. There are a few things, in particular, are almost always triggers one moment and literally forced me to say hello to my grief. Here "little things" that came to me:
Less than two weeks after my dad died, I answer the phone only to hear a patient looking for my father. Feeling as if I had been slapped, I quickly hung up.
patient: "Is Dr. Rudy there?"
Me: "No"
patient: "when it comes?"
Me: "He will not.
patient: "Is there a better time I can recall him?"
Me: ". No"
Patient: "Uh, ok. I'll try again another time."
Me: "(and my mom took the phone and talk to the patient's)"
Although the patient did not bother me and do not have the purpose to make me sad, but they made me remember "My father lost".
Questions about the Family
There are questions that often when you meet someone new, and based on the majority of my experience, these questions usually asked by the curious,. Many adults would ask me what my parents do for a living, and I am always hesitant to consider my answer.
However, many adults will complete my answer with "... and your father?"
Several years ago I'd neglected to mention that he had died and would only say what she always did. Now, if necessary, I would quickly add "My father died when I was 16."
Of course, the instant I release these words into the air, I see the change on their face. They quickly try to smooth their stunned expression and mutter an “I’m sorry.” Then, in an almost ironic way, I console them, letting them know that it’s OK "i’m OK. "
The things that mean something more for you
There are countless occasions when I watch movies or TV, or listening to a song or a story with a friend, when something hit me. A line or situation sticks out, reminds me of my dad in some way. Suddenly something different; there is a pang of sadness, feelings of nostalgia, or a flood of bitter sentiment.
Sometimes when it is short and I bounce back soon. Next time, I felt the tears rushing to my eyes and I was forced to actively remain calm.
Achievement
Now, if I win an award or have something big happening in my life, I have a longing moment, wishing he could be here to see what I have done and know the person I had become.
one of the hardest things that have come up with losing my father was the occasional realization of how much time has passed. Birthdays, holidays, and others are all reminders.
There are days when I felt like it was just yesterday that he died, but other times, I felt as if it had been a lifetime and I can no longer imagine my life without him.
and a few things to ask my father, about my classes? about my life ahead. if the marriage without a father? if I become a doctor without a father? and many other things.
It seemed to have him here is my past life-a film that I have witnessed many times and memorized but never really lived.
Many people who have not lost. someone mistakenly believe that death is something you'll However, the fact is, I'm still hurting "get better.". two years later, it was not a constant, incredible, consuming grief, but the little things, hide the sadness in it, which struck me when I least expect it.
I miss you every second of every day . I love you with all my heart . i can't believe i would never see you again but i have faith in GOD and i know we will reunite someday i love you PAPA ...
